And so it begins. . .even though it already began.

Hello loved ones.  Welcome to my secret blog.  I'm pretty sure almost everyone I have invited to read this knows at least the basics about our struggles to conceive.  Maybe I will explain the details in another post.  Then again, maybe I won't.  For now, let's just say we are about to start IVF. . .

Let me begin by admitting that I am a pretty moody person. (Don't act like you hadn't already noticed.)  I am also introverted as it is, but I really tend to withdraw when I'm stressed, so I think this will be the best way to keep everyone informed about the extremely complicated treatments we are about to experience.

Next, I would like to extend some thank yous.  Infertility is especially cruel because it is a grief that repeats itself over and over again on a monthly basis.  In many ways, it is something only people that have been through it can truly understand.  The cycle of hope and despair is a difficult one to endure, and one that made me overwhelmingly grateful for the support of my husband, friends and family. You have repeatedly comforted me even after I became not much more than a pile of tears and snot-bubbles.  You love me even when it isn't easy, and even when I am a complete drag to be around.  Thank you doesn't seem like nearly enough, but it will have to do for now.

Lastly, here is where we are: the team of doctors at ACRM is meeting today to determine my "protocol" for IVF.  This basically means that all six of the reproductive endocrinologists are pouring over my charts, discussing my issues, and determining my medication dosages.  The nurse is supposed to call me "sometime this week".  Unfortunately nothing happens quickly.  My temporary nurse is annoyingly distant, and my normal nurse is out on maternity leave.  Oh, the irony. I will post again when I hear back from the nurse.  Until then, I love you all.